There Is No Person

“There is no person, there is no person, there is no person…” Over and over the congregation sang the chorus ending with, “Jesus, you alone are the only one I have.”

I stood in their midst in the heat with sweat rolling down the back of my legs, my foggy brain catching and holding the words swelling around me and I sang it too. “There is no person, there is no person…”

Then the deacon gets up to pray as the congregation still sings softly. And his words penetrate my fog too. He says, (roughly translated ), “ Oh God, Papa, who is up above in the heavens, we come to you to let ourselves go at your feet. We know there is NO person who can help us, deliver us, save us… You alone can help…” and he goes on and on but my mind stays there.

I am surrounded by people, human beings just like me who have endured suffering like I will probably never know. Many of them have known hunger, disease, sickness, death, loneliness, abuse and darkness. I feel shame for the things I consider  “hard” in my life. These people know hard. And they sing like it’s a groan from their hearts, “ There is no person, there is no person…” But they cling to God, Papa who is above in the heavens. He is the only one who truly gives help, strength to keep going.

I ponder the phrase, “ We let ourselves go at your feet.” To let ourselves go is to let go of everything that is precious and safe to us. It is to give up expectations, hopes and fears, dreams and desires, uncertainties and securities, even ideas and beliefs…everything. Everything to simply fall down on our faces in utter abandonment at the feet of God acknowledging that truly there is no person who can help us in the darkest hour of the soul except God, Papa, who is up above  in the heavens.

Having just returned from spending three and a half weeks in the states I realize it is almost impossible for most of us to even imagine what that really and truly means. Seriously, in our American mindset we need an awful lot just to simply live. We don’t think it is asking or expecting too much to have all of our basic needs and even wants fulfilled. But in Luke 9:57-62 we see that Jesus says the cost of following him is to give up our right of even having our basic needs met. He does not say, “ You will never be homeless.” He says, “ Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” He does not say, “ All your emotional needs will be met.” He says, “ Leave the dead to bury their own dead.” He doesn’t even make any promises about family, the closest relational ties we could ever have but he says, “ No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.” I believe the message he is really trying to get across is the message that I received on Sunday listening to the song and the prayer and it is what many people in more harsh cultures experience on a daily basis - There is no person but only Jesus himself… to let go of myself and fall before God holding onto nothing.