The Closing Of A Chapter

In the wee hours of Sunday morning we traveled all packed into Rachel’s big van. I was so exhausted I just pretty much passed out in the front seat. I slept and slept, hard and deep. It felt like my whole body was heavy and my brain was shut off. I was dimly aware at times of some talking, the children stirring in their carseats, and the sun rising in the east. This was not the road trip that Rachel and I had in mind when we spent hours making plans for my furlough. But God had plans too and like he said, it is better to go to the house of mourning than the house of feasting. So that is what we did.

All day Sunday we traveled, talked some, slept, ate and kept driving and driving. In the evening we stopped to sleep about 4 hours from Ida’s house. It felt like heaven to take a long, hot, shower and lay our weary bodies to rest on real beds. I don’t think I even moved one muscle that whole night!

We got up, ate breakfast and got right back into the van…

Then the long journey was almost over and we were getting closer and closer to my sister Ida’s house way out in the boonies of Wisconsin. A quietness settled over all of us as we pondered the difference between this visit and all the many family gatherings before this. This time there would be a big empty spot, an empty recliner, and aching hearts. And I wondered, “What does one say to a sister who has just lost her husband, who is now left to parent 8 children alone?” The answer is, “ Nothing.” There is nothing to say that will lessen the pain of loss and separation. So we just went there and all the family came and together we filled up the house with love and care, food and quiet visiting.

My strong sister Ida and her brave children moved gracefully through the motions of laying their husband and father peacefully to rest. Us others stood by, a close knit force of love and support fumbling feebly to somehow lessen the burden of sorrow and yet each one of us carried our own too so together we stood and just cared.

Kind people brought in food so we didn’t have to try to cook and that is no small undertaking as our family is quite large. But what a tremendous blessing it was to all of us.

Friends came, some from far and many from near to honor a life well lived and poured out in service to God. A respectful gesture of kindness and support to the grieving family. Every person was appreciated, every person made a difference, every person touched a heart just by being there.

At the last viewing I stood beside the open casket and tried to absorb again the reality of an earthly life- finished. So many memories of that brother in law who came into my life when I was a small, shy, blond haired girl. He won me easily – held me on his lap and teased me, brought candy and balloons and toys… And then he took my sister Ida and married her but I don’t remember having hard feelings about it because he already was part of the family. And now years later as I stood and looked inside the casket right by a daddy’s hands was a little love note all covered with childish hearts and I knew that he had won another little girl’s heart. Another shy, blond haired girl who loved her daddy.

The most stunning thought of all to me was looking at David’s face and realizing that the very next time I see that smile it will be in the presence of God!! That is an amazing, amazing thought and I am still processing it. I just wonder so much how it really is when you die. David had just as many thoughts, beliefs and questions about death as we all do and now he found out how it really is but he can’t tell us. It is that mysterious journey that every person alone with Jesus must take. “Yeah, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for thou art with me…” David is the one who is now really alive while we are still stuck back here in this vapor we call life. And it is so easy to lose the way when you’re in a vapor. My heart yearns for all of us left here – we MUST be faithful to God if we want to truly live.

Then it was over:

Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful servant. Psalms 116:15

And a new chapter opens…